Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize