glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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