put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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