I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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