She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize