i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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