WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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