girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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