so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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