I wanna bring you to show and tell
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize