Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize