I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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