I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize