I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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