perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize