Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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