im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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