if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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