he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize