So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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