I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize