I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize