I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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