I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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