I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize