who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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