i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize