sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
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Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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