Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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