Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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