were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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