He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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