She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize