I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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