woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize