dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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