Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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