I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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