So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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