Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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