do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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