Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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