So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize