I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize