whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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