i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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