I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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