oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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