I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
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He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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