Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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